a serious post

Today was the first day that I thought seriously about weening my giant 19 month old baby boy.  It makes me so sad.  I love that he still needs me and that he is still my baby boy.  I must admit I am thankful...I always wanted to nurse the other two longer but never made it past 14.  

Yes, I nuggle him to sleep every night...once in the night...sometimes twice in the night...every morning...before every nap...and in his car seat during car rides where nothing else will keep him quiet.  (yikes!)  As an infant, the only thing that could soothe my somewhat fussy baby was to nurse him.  Often.  But lately it's been on my heart that maybe it's time to help him grow up a little more.  I've been praying about it, and maybe the fact that Jonah peed on the floor today because he needed me was a sign.  Silas was so close to sleeping, I couldn't dare take him off.  And I thought I was going to be brave enough to lay him down awake today.  Tonight was a small victory...we went through the normal routine, and I laid him down almost asleep.  I soaked in those 20 minutes like it was the last time I would ever hold him like that.  Funny because it probably won't be.  But that's how I like to leave it.